We're Not at Camp Courage Anymore
by elledottore
Summary: Jean and Sara meet in the summer of 1970 at a camp for teenagers with disabilities. Despite opposite personalities, they become best friends. But one morning, they wake up at a school known as Shiz University. How will they cope with living the lives of characters they thought they knew?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Jean

I woke with a start. I had fallen asleep with my hair all tangled around my face, but Carole or Sue had obviously pushed it away at some point during the night. My eyes focused. I did a double take. I wasn't in the cabin. I was in some type of dorm room. I heard a groan from the bed next to mine "Jean? You awake?" I heard Sara say.

"Yeah, barely." I almost gasped. I didn't have to work to say that! My voice sounded … normal!

"Where the hell are we?" Sara asked, sitting upright in bed. I looked over at her and had another shock. Sara's back was normally like an accordion, always curved and bent, but now it was as straight as a stick. But that was simply the tip of the iceberg. Sara's skin was incredibly, impossibly, unnaturally … green! "What? Why are you looking at me like I just landed from Mars?"

"Sara, you're …" But before I could continue, there was a knock on the door.

"Miss Elphaba? Miss Galinda?" From what I could tell, the person knocking was female, probably in her fifties. "I thought your sister might want to be with you this morning. Is that alright, Miss Elphaba?" Before I could think, I was on my feet. I was on my feet! I could walk! Behind me, I heard Sara gasp, but I was busy walking to the door. Walking to the door!

"At your service," I said in my new, non spazzo voice. Outside the door was a middle aged woman with way too much makeup and … Yvonne!

"Ah, Miss Galinda!" the woman exclaimed when she saw me. "Is Miss Elphaba up?"

"I … think so," I said cautiously. "Do you want me to take …" I indicated toward Yvonne, whom to my surprise was confined to a wheelchair, no plastic leg.

"Miss Nessarose?" the woman finished for me. "Yes, of course! She must be extremely close to her sister! How truly touching! See you at sorcery seminar, girls!"

"Jean!" Yvonne exclaimed as I pushed her into the room. "Gosh, you can walk! Where are we? The signs in the halls say 'Shiz University.' There's no such school! Sara! What happened to you? You're …"

"Yes, yes, I know I'm green," Sara said dismissively. "The question is why. The bastards must've found a CP cure, thus Jean can walk. They tried to put a leg on you, but something goofed up. But my recently developed verdigris? Who the hell knows?"

"You look like the Wicked Witch of the West," I commented.

"Thanks, Jean. Just the compliment I need."

"I'm just happy I can say that without stuttering. W is hard for me. Or, at least, was."

"But, Jean, you may be on to something! The clown lady who brought Yvonne, she called you Galinda. Like Glinda from _The Wizard of Oz_."

"Oooo!" Yvonne squealed. "I just noticed what shoes the old hag put on me! Jean, Sara, look!"

"Gracious peace!" Sara breathed. For enveloping two very real feet were Dorothy's iconic silver shoes!

"Sara, are we …?" I started to ask.

"Wait!" Sara ran over to the bookshelf. "Aw, shit, I can walk too! Bastards! Oh, look at this! Textbooks! 'A Guide for Sorcery Beginners.' 'A Detailed History of Oz.' Damn, ladies! We are in the fricking land of Oz!"

"Wild," Yvonne said. "But I guess if I click my heels … oh, right, I CAN'T!"

"Cool it, sister, you're still a Crip at least. What about we go to breakfast? I'm hungry, y'all!"

Breakfast was quiet. People called Sara an artichoke, but she told them to piss off. A Munchkin kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I sunk in my seat. I wasn't used to that kind of attention.

"Sara! Jean! Yvonne!" A handsome boy strode up to us. "You guys are different! I could hardly recognize myself this morning!"

"Willie?" Sara asked in the most innocent voice I had ever heard from her. "Oh God! You're … oh, Willie!" She stood up and hugged him like she hadn't seen him in years, and he had changed for the worse.

"Hey, Sara, it's cool," Willie said. "I hear they do magic here. Maybe you can change me back. After all, now you look like a witch!"

Sara chuckled. "Ever the gentleman, Willie! But I've been thinking. What if we're replacing the Witches of the West and East and Glinda? What if they're at Camp Courage?"

"Hold up," Yvonne said. "I'm still wrestling with the fact that we're in Oz, and these witches are actually real. I mean, think about the movie. It's out there!"

"I'm more worried about the Wicked Witch of the West terrorizing Camp Courage," I said. "She could have killed half the camp by now." We all fell silent at that thought.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Elphaba

We were in a forest, probably Gilikin. I could see his face so close to mine, so handsome. I could hear his breathing, choppy in pure exhilaration. I could smell his scent, his male scent all over my own body. Incredible. But most of all, I could feel his body up against mine, wanting me, needing me. Then, however, I was jolted awake by shrieking. "For Oz's sake, Galinda!" I exclaimed. "Really? This early?"

"I fell out of bed," came the reply.

I was officially annoyed. "Well then, why don't you stand up?"

"But El-phie," Galinda whined. "That's what's so con-fus-if-i-ng! I can't!" Only then did I realize that Galinda's voice sounded … strange.

"Galinda, are you drunk?"

"No!"

"Alright, let me help you up!" I reluctantly moved to get out of bed. But I noticed it took a lot of energy. I mean, a lot of energy. But after all, I had been up late studying the night before. We had a history test that day. Yet when I tried to stand, I found myself on the floor next to Galinda. I let out a choice word.

"El-phie! Lan-gu-age!" It was then that I took in Galinda's appearance. Mind you, she was still as beautiful as you please, but there was something in her face that was … odd. Her wrists were bent forward like an old woman's, and her blonde hair was tangled around her face.

"What happened to you?" I asked. "Are you alright?"

"No!" she exclaimed. "I can't walk! I can har-dly speak! And, oh El-phie! You're not green!"

"Nonsense, that's impossible!" But I looked down at my hands and saw that she was right. My breath caught in my throat. This is what I had always wanted. Why was I not overjoyed?

"Jean! Sara!" a voice said from above us. "You should've called me or Carole when you fell!" She turned to Galinda. "Jean, do you want to be first for the morning shower?"

"Yes," Galinda squeaked. "Could I pee, too?"

"Sure. And Sara, don't worry, I'll get Carole to help you get ready. I know you don't like showers." She winked at me, and then hoisted Galinda off the floor. I was left to my musings. Where were we? It seemed like a kind of cabin, like at the camp that Nessa went to every summer in Quox. Who were Jean and Sara? They must have resembled us in some way for the woman to mistake us for them. Why couldn't we walk? That, I didn't have an answer for.

"Sara! Earth to Sara! It's Margie!" I looked up to see a dark skinned girl looking down at me in amazement.

"Hello, Margie," I improvised. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah," she said. "Sue says that Denise had another seizure, but we all slept through it because it was just a little one. Sara, why are you on the floor?"

"I fell," I answered almost truthfully. Oz, what would this day bring?

We were put in wheelchairs and rolled down to this dining hall of sorts. Strange people were everywhere we turned: people with limbs missing, people who did not seem to be aware of their surroundings, and … Nessa. Nessa, walking. Nessa, running over to our side of the table. "Thank Oz I found you!" she exclaimed. "Where are we? What is this Camp Courage? Galinda, what's wrong with your hands?"

"We don't know," I snapped. "And my back is just fine, thanks for asking."

"Oh, Fabala, I didn't even notice!" Nessa said apologetically. "True, I woke up without part of my leg, but now you two know how it feels! To constantly be dependent on someone else!"

"Yes, it's awful." Really, it wasn't all that bad. It's not like I was in pain or anything.

"Good, you ladies are here too!" We turned to see a boy smiling at the three of us as if we knew him. At least, I think he was smiling, because his face was … indescribably ugly, yet also familiar and strangely beautiful.

"Get a-way from me!" Galinda shrieked. "Who are you?"

"Galinda, it's me. It's Fiyero."

"Well, well!" I exclaimed with a laugh. "The most handsome man in all of Oz finally gets his comeuppance! Fiyero Tigulaar, Prince of the Vinkus, ugly as sin!"

"I don't have to ask who you are," Fiyero said. "The Queen of Sarcasm herself! Elphaba Thropp! And I see you finally found something to fix your … er … problem. Congratulations!"

"No, I didn't, brainless, otherwise I wouldn't have crippled myself and Galinda, and brought us to the Other World in the process."

"You're just as charming as ever! Some things never change, do they? Nice to see you too, Fae. Do you know? The boys in my cabin call me Willie."

"Well, the girls in our cabin call me Sara, and Galinda Jean."

"They call me Yvonne," Nessa added.

"I've got a theory!" I exclaimed. "Whoever Sara, Jean, Willie, and Yvonne are, they're in Oz now! In our places! You know, like transmigration."

"You lost me, El-phie," Galinda said, puzzled. "Where are these four peop-le?"

"In Oz, at Shiz, in our places! It's quite simple! We switched!"

"Is that poss-ib-le?"

"Of course it is! It happened, didn't it?" Before we could discuss any further, we were told that it was time for arts crafts. I was apprehensive, but what choice did I have? I dared not admit it, but the plan I had was not some great, ingenious ruse. I would simply wait, gather information about this world, and go from there. There was nothing else to do.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi all. I just figured out how to do this, so yay me!**

**Thank you for all your lovely reviews:**

**Broadwaygirl21 - yeah, Jean's like that. She may be a Crip, but she doesn't open her mind a lot.**

**Wickedly Hope Pancake - I'm so glad you think my fic is awesome! Thank you! I promise to update as frequently as possible.**

**Elphaba Lover 101 - I know. Even my dad, who knows I'm obsessed with "Wicked," STILL calls Elphaba "the Witch." Grr!**

**By the way, I don't own "Wicked" or "Accidents of Nature."**

**Enjoy!**

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Chapter 3

Sara

History class in Crip school is just brilliant because I'm a card carrying genius, who can go on and on about how the Soviets should win the Cold War, while everyone else is just learning who George Washington was. But then, my teacher said she couldn't teach me anymore, so after camp I was to go to Norm school. It was an all white private school with a language lab and stuff, and I knew I was going to do extremely well, but I didn't like the thought of being away from my people, the Crip Nation.

And now, I was at this Shiz University, as a strange, green Norm, who would grow up to be the Wicked Witch of the West. _I can take it, I can take it, _I thought to myself. I walked (damn, walked!) alongside Jean, who was giggling up a storm as every male student in the school flirted with her, and Willie, whom I could barely look at because he didn't look like my Willie anymore, while pushing Yvonne, who shifted nervously in her chair.

"Hey, Fiyero!" a guy said, walking up to Willie. "So, um, I got my eye on ShenShen. Think she'd go out with me?" I could tell Willie had no idea who this guy was, but he managed to keep his cool.

"Sure, she's a babe, ShenShen is. Who d'you think would go with me?"

"Dude, any girl in this school! What, you planning on breaking things off with Galinda?"

"Oh no, of course not! Galinda's my girl, man! Right, babe?"

"Hmm?" Jean said, turning away from the boy she was currently having verbal intercourse with. "Yeah, totally!"

I could not listen to this stupidity any longer. "You know we have a history test today," I said. "Did any of you find time to actually study for it? 'Cause, I, for one, looked over my notes today at breakfast!"

"You probably didn't need to study, artichoke," the boy said with a sly smile on his face. "You're very bright."

"Get lost, or I'll …"

"Sara, think about what you're going to say next," Jean whispered. "No one knows how to do that better than I."

I glared at the boy. "Just go."

History class at Shiz was … interesting to say the least. First off, it was taught by a Goat. A talking Goat. Seriously, I couldn't make this stuff up. According to the Witch's schedule, his name was Dr. Dillimond. The Goat had a name, a first name and a last name. Wild. But, he seemed to know his stuff, so I reminded myself that I was in Oz, where wild stuff happens.

"Class, I am sorry to say that this is my last day at Shiz," he told us at the beginning of the class. "Therefore, instead of having an exam, we will have a free historical discussion. Yes, Miss Elphaba?"

"Why the hell is this your last day at Shiz?" I demanded.

"Ah, Miss Elphaba, I'm afraid that Animals are no longer permitted to teach."

"But that's absurd! You can teach just as well as any human can! This is pure capitalism, this is! The subjection of the lower classes for the benefit of the upper classes. No, it's worse than American capitalism! It's Nazism! What's next? Concentration camps? Ghettoes? Gassing? I'm telling you, it's a slippery slope, Doctor."

"Sar- Elphaba," Willie began. "I think your mind is racing way into the future. After all, Animals are alright now, right?"

"Yeah," a girl answered. "At home, I have an Ape as my own personal maid. Every time she's done cleaning my bedroom, it sparkles!"

"That's exactly what I'm talking about!" I shot back. "They'll go from having low grade jobs to no jobs at all! Don't you see where this is headed?"

Dr. Dillimond was about to respond when Madame Morrible (whom I had mentally nicknamed Clown Lady) came in with a man who could be no one else but the new teacher. It all happened quite quickly. Clown Lady insincerely apologized to Dr. Dillimond, whom was then forcibly removed from the classroom! Now, I don't know much about firing people, but that sure as hell didn't look like firing to me!

"Sara, you aren't going to make a scene, are you?" Jean whispered. She knew me too well.

"Hell I am!" I answered. "Hey you! New Prick Teacher! I won't take your crap! Anyone who would like to join me is welcome." I ran out before the new teacher could say anything. I didn't care where I was going, anywhere away from the Prick's class.

"Hey, Sara!" Willie called from behind me. "You okay?"

"I don't know," I answered. "I think now know who's really wicked here. It's the government, the damned capitalist, Nazi government of Oz, not some green girl. God, I can't believe I'm even thinking this craziness! Stop me, Willie, when I get like this!"

"Ah but Sara, I like it when you get like that."

"Willie, we've been through this. I'm not in the boyfriend business."

"Right, because you're gonna die in your 20s of muscular dystrophy. You don't have muscular dystrophy anymore."

"Oh, so you think that now that I'm a Norm, I'm gonna be your princess and live happily ever after with you?! Is that what you think?! It's more complicated than that, Willie, and-."

"Do you ever let anyone else talk? Of course not, I've known you for eight years; I should know that. I've known you for eight years. And I've loved you for four years."

"We're seventeen. We shouldn't be talking about love. Plus, if we're forced to stay here, I'm going to be the Wicked Witch of the West! You know, 'I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!'" I let out what I hoped was a convincing witch's cackle. Willie just grinned.

"I'm liking it, Margret Hamilton!"

"Willie, if you think you can melt my icy heart with your charm and your new swanky looks, then-." I was then so rudely interrupted by his lips on mine.

No! Sara Buchanan didn't do kissing. Or dating. Or romance of any kind. But even so, it was Willie, who had welcomed me to Father Daemon's leper colony on my first day of camp, who pushed me into the pool because I had refused to swim, who used to be so beautiful in his own way before we came to Oz. Maybe it wasn't so bad. Maybe it was meant to be.

"So, have I done it?" Willie asked, pulling away. "Have I captured the Witch?"

"You are unbelievably corny! But I got to admit – I kinda like it."

"We're going to have a ball! We'll fight for Animal rights. We'll maybe do some terrorism. C'mon, Sara, you embraced your muscular dystrophy on Earth, so why not embrace your status here?"

"You're right. I'm feeling just a bit … wicked!" I also had a plan. Clown Lady would not know what hit her!

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**There. Your first taste of Wara. Don't worry, there WILL be Fiyeraba later on, I promise!**

**Cheers,**

**Elle Dottore**


	4. Chapter 4

**Greetings! Sorry this took longer, school and all. Thank you for waiting.**

**Reviews:**

**Broadway Girl 21: Yeah, Sara's awesome.**

**Wickedly Hope Pancake: You are my greatest motivation! **

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Chapter 4

Elphaba

Arts and crafts was long. And boring. And unbelievably hot. I was reminded of the notorious desert that surrounds Oz, and I wondered if it could possibly be worse than the arts and crafts building at Camp Courage.

Galinda wasn't making things any better. "El-phie," she whined. "I'm hot. Can you help me make my bean mo-sa-ic?" I wanted to throw a nearby box of colored pencils in her face, but I knew in my heart of hearts that that would be wrong.

Instead I said, "Sure. What do you want your mosaic to be?"

"Hmm. What a-bout a ball gown?"

"You are ridiculous, Galinda! But, I know you would just do it yourself if you could, so of course I will make your bean mosaic an Oz damned ball gown. Margie, care to help?"

"Sure, Sara. What do you want me to do?" Over the course of breakfast and arts and crafts, I had learned that Margie was mildly delayed, but extremely helpful and loyal to Sara, whoever she was.

"Just pour some glue in this shape." I quickly drew a rough sketch of one of Galinda's party dresses on a sheet of paper. While she set to work on that, I surveyed our bean supply. Oz, why was I even doing this? We had already missed Dr. Dillamond's test; we were bound to miss enough to seriously damage our grades if we stayed in the Other World for much longer.

"Is that good enough, Sara?"

"Yes, thanks, Margie." She beamed. Glad somebody was easy to please.

I sighed and started placing beans on the glue. It was such a mindless task, so I observed the scene around me. Nessa was bright red as a boy in a wheelchair flirted with her. A young man who was obviously not in his right mind was repeating, "Gotta go to Goldsboro. Gotta go to Goldsboro." Another wheelchair girl was babbling to no one about writing a novella.

And then, my eyes fell on Galinda and Fiyero. He was attempting to stretch out her hands, and she kept saying, "Ow! Fi-Fi, that hurts!" But I could tell that she was enjoying it immensely by the huge grin on her face. I was pretty sure he was smiling too. Even in this world, where he was as ugly as sin, and I was at least remotely normal, I was still not that girl.

I managed to get through the rest of the day. I was sweet talked into playing a strange sport called bowling, in which the player attempts to knock down ten pins with a queer, marble like ball. Much to Galinda's chagrin, I had absolutely no athletic inclination when I could stand and walk, much less when I had to shoot the ball sitting down, with one of the ramps they had.

Then, during dinner, the camp director, Bob, announced that it was movie night. "What-?" Galinda started to ask me. She fell silent when she realized she was not able to whisper. I knew what her question was, for it was the same as mine, but I knew we would find out soon enough.

"Tonight, we will be watching one of the most beloved movies of all time," Bob declared, "It's called _The Wizard of Oz_." I was immediately intrigued. The people here knew about Oz? I knew I was procrastinating on asking someone how to get home, but I had to see that movie thing first!

"Fabala, do you think this is some kind of message from the Wizard?" Nessa asked me as she pushed me to a front row seat.

"I don't like to speculate about that which I don't know, so we'll watch this thing and then draw conclusions." I then became deeply aware of Fiyero sitting next to me.

"Hi, Fae," he said quietly.

"Hi."

"You know, I've been thinking …"

"Oh no, that's never good."

"… about life, liberty, and love."

"Fiyero, where is this going?" But just then, the lights went down, and the movie started.

It was rather dull at first. A little farm girl hates her life because a woman wants to turn her dog into the police. I guess I was supposed to side with the girl, but the dog did bite someone. And it was a dog, not a Dog.

But then, a storm comes, and the girl is blown to an over glorified Munchkinland, trapped in her own house. I kind of felt sorry for her then, because she was all alone in a strange world. Shortly after the girl, whose name is Dorothy, arrives, a beautiful sorceress comes down in a ridiculous looking bubble.

"I am Glinda, the Good Witch of the North." Next to me, Galinda audibly gasped. She didn't even have to say anything; I knew it was about her precious name.

"You changed your name," I hissed. "Deal with it."

The Munchkins go on to celebrate the death of some Wicked Witch of the East. This movie obviously showed the future, and I was glad that this Dorothy would help rid Oz of a future evildoer. My gladness was shattered, however, when on the screen appeared a twisted and distorted version of … me.

"Who killed my sister? Who killed the Witch of the East?! Was it you?" My eyes were glued to the screen, but I still heard a tiny squeak from Galinda. I suddenly felt very sick.

"Fae, do you want to watch this?"

"No, I don't."

"Do you want me to take you outside?"

"Yes, I do."

"Gladly, m'lady." He stood up and I felt Sara's wheelchair shake as he undid the brakes. No one noticed us leaving; even Galinda and Nessa were entranced by the movie. As Fiyero backed me out of the door, I heard what I was called: the Wicked Witch of the West. My eyes burned.

"Did you – did you hear what they called me?"

"Yes, I did. But Fae, you're not."

"How do you know?"

"I just – I just do, Fae. And Fae, I've been thinking … that … we should … ah, screw it all." I had to be dreaming. Yes, I must have fallen asleep during the movie. Fiyero Tigulaar wasn't kissing me. It was simply impossible, illogical. Yet, there he was, his new, twisted lips on mine.

"Yero …" My voice sounded light and airy; I hardly recognized it. "No … Galinda … remember … Galinda."

"Who's Galinda?"

"Fiyero, you idiot, you're committing adultery!"

"No. I was committing adultery before. Now, I'm with the only one I truly belong with."

"Really? Is that the best you can come up with?"

"No." The impossible happened once again. I was over the moon, soaring higher than I ever dreamed possible. I realized something. We didn't have to go back to Oz. In fact, it would be better if we didn't. My mind was racing through grand plans for a new life when suddenly …

"Fi-Fi! El-phie! What in Oz is go-ing on here?!"

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**Dun! Dun! Duuuuun! Yeah, I do cliffies. But hey, I gave you your long awaited Fiyeraba, so that's good.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Cheers,**

**Elle Dottore **


	5. Chapter 5

**Salvete, omnes! **

**I hope you find this chapter EPIC!**

**Anyhoo, reviews:**

**Wickedly Hope Pancake - get used to it! more to come! MWHAHA! **

**Steph Wicked Girl - indeed! have u read Accidents of Nature?**

**Broadway Girl 21 - yep!  
****Enjoy!**

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Chapter 5

Sara

"She sleeps like a slug."

"Shh, Willie, she could wake up at any second."

"What took you so long?"

"I had to put on this outfit so I would look the part. Now please be quiet before we end up arrested!"

"So, where's this magic book?"

"Willie, shut UP!" Didn't he realize what could happen if Clown Lady woke up? Besides, I had to concentrate on finding that book that Morrible had used in sorcery class. I didn't know if I could use it at all, but I knew she could, and I just knew she was behind the Animal Holocaust. As for the Wizard, well, he was a humbug who would probably do anything to seem powerful.

I caught sight of the book. Good. It was in the hag's arms. Not so good. This was suicide. But what the hell? Without warning, I leaped onto the bed and snatched the book out of her arms.

"Miss Elphaba?" she asked, startled.

"That's the Wicked Witch of the West to you!" I shrieked. "I know what you've done. I know you're as evil as all get out. And I know you're going DOWN, CLOWN LADY!" I grabbed Willie by the scruff of his neck, and tore out of the room.

"Where to?" Willie asked as we ran.

"The dorms, to get Jean and Yvonne. And then, I don't know, maybe … the west."

"Original, Sara. Very original."

"Shut up."

Jean and Yvonne jumped when we burst into the dorm room. "Sara!" Jean exclaimed. "Where have you been? You stole Morrible's book? Have you completely lost your mind?"

"She's behind everything! We gotta save the Animals, comrades!" I stacked up all the chairs in the room up against the door. I didn't know if it would keep Morrible out, but it sure as hell could buy us time.

"I'm not sure I could help you, Sara," Yvonne said quietly. "It's not because I can't walk, it's because … I'm still getting used to this Oz thing … and I'm not ready to go off down the Yellow Brick Road on a big quest. I'm sorry."

"Fine," I said. "Jean?"

"No."

"What? Why?"

"Sara, you're cut out for campaigning and rebelling and saving the world. I'm not."

"Aw, Jean, come with me! Think of what we could do – together!"

"I just don't fit in that niche."

"Right! How could I forget? Jean can't stand being herself! The Crosstown Cripple might lose her spot in the Fire Parade! Can't have that!"

"I'm just not so egotistical as to think that no one else in the world matters besides ME!"

"WELL, I'M NOT A FUCKING PUSHOVER!"

"WATCH YOUR MOUTH!"

"What are you, my mother?! Fine, don't come. Be Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, and have all Oz in love with the façade you've created for yourself! I hope you're happy."

"I hope you're happy too."

"You're in luck. I am."

An awkward silence filled the room. Morrible would be coming at any second. I saw a possible escape plan leaning against the wall. But then, through the loudspeaker, we heard: "Attention students. There is a dangerous thief on campus. Don't try to apprehend her yourself. She is much too evil and powerful for that! Just stay in your dorm rooms while I take care of Elphaba Thropp, THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST!"

Yvonne's face looked like it was carved out of stone. I couldn't even look at Willie. Jean was crying and saying, "Oh, Sara, just apologize and tell her you're not Elphaba!"

"But I am." Oh, who was I kidding? I wasn't a witch! But because a genius like me can sometimes be really stupid, I opened the book and read the first spell I saw.

"Sara, what're you doing?" I ignored the concerned look on Willie's face.

"Elika fugio ex periculum. Elika fugio ex periculum. Elika fugio ex periculum." Was it working? I was almost too afraid to look.

"Jiminey Crickets!" Yvonne exclaimed. I looked up. Praise Nonexistent Jesus! I, Sara Elaine Buchanan, had enchanted a broomstick.

But, of course, Clown Lady chose that moment to bust through the barricade. "You couldn't possibly use that book, Elphaba Thropp!"

"Hell I can! Get on, Willie!" As soon as I felt Willie's arms around me, I took off, breaking down a window and getting glass in my face, but I didn't give a damn. The reason I didn't like to swim at camp was because I hated the moment when I would be taken out of the pool, and gravity would come crashing down. Now, I had control over when gravity affected me. Come to think of it, I wasn't just controlling gravity. I was defying gravity.

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**Yeah, Sara is ... Sara. She's a badass.**

**BTW, "fugio ex periculum" is Latin for "I fly out of danger."**

**Cheers,**

**Elle Dottore**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi all,**

**First of all, reviews:**

**Elphaba Lover 101 - Ah, Steven Schwartz may be a hot shot composer, but I gotz the Latin! Not to give too much away, but I plan on using the spell from "No Good Deed" later on.**

**Broadway Girl 21 (and everyone else) - READ ACCIDENTS OF NATURE BY HARRIET MCBRYDE JOHNSON! It's amazafying! It's about Sara and Jean at camp.**

**Warning - major Fiyeraba fluff ahead!**

Chapter 6

Elphaba

"Galinda …" Fiyero seemed to be at a loss for words.

"No, Yero, allow me," I quickly said. "It's my fault. I'm so sorry, Galinda. I was upset, and … things happened. But they won't ever happen again, I promise."

"I was go-ing to tell you how we could get home," Galinda said, barely intelligible. "But now I don't think I want to, since you two are so ob-vi-ous-ly hap-py here. I'll just go with-out you."

"Glin, wait!" Fiyero called. "Just because I don't love you the way I love Fae doesn't mean I don't love you at all. You're like … a sister, you know?"

"Don't call me Glin! It's Glin-da now, like in the pic-ture frame."

"Glinda," I started to say.

"Our cab-in has sports to-mor-row. That's when you and I will sort this out. Golf."

"You can't win back a man by playing golf!"

"W-w-watch me. Take me back to the ca-bin, Nes-sa!" Nessa obediently pushed Glinda away. So much for sorority.

"Yero, I'm so sorry!"

"Fae, what in Oz is there for you to be sorry for?"

"I just lost you your girlfriend! You were even thinking about marriage, right?"

"She was thinking about marriage. I was thinking about you. Now, there's still a few clock ticks till taps, I believe. Let's go down to the dock, and see if we can't catch some fish."

"Not Fish, though, okay?"

"Right. Just fish."

The camp was deserted as we rolled down the path to the dock. I had been hit with so much over the past 24 hours. I was in a completely different world, the people back home were going to hate me one day, and Fiyero Tigulaar was in love with me. All three of those facts slowly sunk into me like quicksand. The first would take some getting used to, especially if Glinda never revealed how to get home, but I could learn to live here. The second made me feel ill, and wonder how I sparked this hatred. The last fact was simply … unreal, yet so right, for me, for him.

"Now, I'm going to do something, but I'm not going to tell you what it is," Fiyero said when we arrived. "Why? Because if I told you, you wouldn't like it."

"That's comforting." Before I could say anything else, Sara's wheelchair was merely a memory, and I was in his arms.

"My Wonderful Witch of the West." I was so bendable and pliable that I melted further into his arms at that comment. His kiss distracted me so much that I hardly noticed that we were on the ground. The soft sand surrounding the lake was beneath me, and Fiyero was above me.

Some time later, he asked, "Are you still upset about the movie?"

"No, because it's not going to happen. We're going to stay here, and start anew. But, oh, I forgot! Sara! She's going to take my place!"

"Fae, based on the way people treat you here, Sara is probably a commanding, strong person. Like you. But if you're really worried, you can just ask Glinda how to get home. Once you two have made up, of course."

"I doubt a mere game of golf will settle this. Oz, your new face distracts me so much!"

"Ugly, isn't it?"

"No, it's oddly beautiful."

"Fae, you don't have to lie to me."

"It's not lying! It's just … well, it's looking at things another way. And see, you look better than I did back in Oz."

"Now, I have to beg to differ there. In my humble opinion, you were still smashing back then, even more so."

"Don't be silly, Yero. I was green."

"I prefer 'emerald.'"

"Fine. I was emerald. My point is that I looked like a frog."

"Sweet Lurline, Fae! You did not look like a frog! You looked … like the goddess of emeralds and sarcasm!" Now that was funny!

"Who would worship a goddess like that?"

"I would. By the way, have I ever told you that your laugh is so damn cute?"

"I'm not sure if I should slap you for cursing, or kiss you for-." But Fiyero had already made that decision for me. And oh my Oz, for once he made the right decision!

"Sara! Willie!" We broke apart to see one of the counselors, Sue, looking down at us with surprise written all over her face.

"Hello, Sue," I said as if she had just walked in on us playing checkers. "Is it taps already?"

"Yes, it is! I would report you to Mr. Bob, but I'm so pleased that a boy has finally won your heart, that I'm going to let it go. Congratulations, Willie! You have performed a very difficult task!"

"Ah, it was well worth it!" Fiyero said as he lifted me into Sara's chair. "Alright, time to sneak off to my cabin. Fresh dreams, Sara! I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Good bye, Willie!"

When we arrived back at the cabin, Sue helped me undress and get into bed. I looked over at Yvonne's bed, and saw that Nessa was fast asleep. In the bed next to me, Glinda was staring up at the ceiling, no doubt avoiding my gaze. Well, just because she wouldn't talk to me didn't mean I couldn't talk to her.

"Look, Glinda," I began. "I understand why you're upset. You have every right to be. But, you'll move on! Yero … he would feel so guilty if he thought he had torn apart our friendship. So, let's make up, and work together to do what Sara would do if she were here."

Glinda rolled over. "And what is that?"

"I was going through her things earlier today, and I found this script for a reverse telethon. I don't understand some of the technology referred to, but I get the main idea. Normally, people raise money to help find a cure for those who are disabled, but Sara has it the other way around! Isn't that brilliant?"

"I don't get it, El-phie. Why would non dis-abl-ed peo-ple need to be cured?"

"Why would disabled people need to be cured? There are much more important things than cures. When Nessa and I were children, our father took us to Gilikin City. Nessa really wanted to see this play in one of the grand theaters there. But when we got there, there were twenty seven steps up. I counted them. Of course, Father simply carried Nessa up the stairs, but it would've been nice to simply go in. Are you following me, Glinda?"

"I think so. It sounds like you and Sa-ra have the right i-dea. And, El-phie?"

"Hmm?"

"We don't have to golf. Fi-ye-ro loves you, and there's no-thing I can do a-bout it."

"Thank you. Good night, Glinda."

"Good night, El-phie." And so I eagerly fell asleep, for one excited for the next day.

**There you have it, my pretties! Thanks for reading!**

**Cheers,**

**Elle Dottore**


	7. Chapter 7

**Heyo! (as Lindsey Mendez would say)**

**Lovin' your reviews:**

**Wickedly Hope Pancake - Thank you! It helps to know a little Latin!**

**Elphaba Lover 101 - Yay!**

**Broadway Girl 21 - Yes, I'm a huge Gelphie shipper myself.**

**Steph Wicked Girl - Please, do!**

**Just a warning: this chapter is a high T for Wara. **

Chapter 7

Sara

I honestly don't know how long it took us to get to Winkie Country, but boy, it was a glorious ride! It was like riding a motorcycle, except in the air. I thought of the Halloween decorations I would see every year in Charleston, and I realized that I looked like that now. I had it all: the broomstick, the black dress and pointy hat, the cape, and, of course, I was green. This idea delighted me so much that I decided to complete the effect, and I let out a loud, high cackle. I immediately regretted it when Willie almost fell off the broom. I quickly landed us in a clearing near an abandoned castle.

"Sorry, sorry!" I exclaimed. "I just felt in the mood to do my Margret Hamilton impression!"

"You're really embracing this witch thing, aren't you?"

"Might as well. Less work that way, right?"

"You know what's funny? When I saw Margret Hamilton in _The Wizard of Oz_, I thought green skin was pretty weird and ugly. But now, on you, it's gorgeous!"

"I don't mind it one way or the other, but our perception of beauty is whacked out, because Willie, I miss your face." And then I closed my eyes so I wouldn't see his new face when I kissed him. I never thought I would live long enough to find love, get married, and have children. This didn't disturb me, my life expectancy was simply different from most people's. I hated how happy I was to be free from that. But then I realized I wasn't. I gasped.

"What is it?" Willie asked, concerned.

"I'm going to die," I said tonelessly.

"Sara …"

"Yes! Dorothy Gale is going to come. And she's going to save the day, and melt the Wicked Witch of the West. Me. You should go, Willie. Didn't you say you replaced a prince?"

"Sara, if you're going to die, I'm going to be right by your side when you do. Fiyero Tigulaar's kingdom can screw it. Now, we're on first base. I wanna ask you if you want to move a little way toward second base. Is that cool with you?"

"Sure." No! What the hell was I doing?! Sara Buchanan didn't sleep with men, or women, or anyone! Sara Buchanan was a free agent! Yet, here I was, unbuttoning his oxford, allowing him to lift my dress over my head. Undergarments were peeled off like orange peels, leaving both of us completely exposed. All coherent thoughts left me as Willie penetrated my most private part. My heart was beating so loud, I couldn't hear myself scream. The pain was gone; all I felt was waves of ecstasy up and down my body. We stayed in that field for a long time.

"I have an idea!" I exclaimed, sitting up. "Let's bomb the Wizard's palace!"

"Okay," Willie said, as if he helped witches bomb palaces every day. "How do we go about doing that?"

"I found a spell in that big book, the Grimmerie," I said. "Sneaked a peak at it during sorcery class. Then, I set a tree on fire while you were catnapping on the broom. It works. See? Elika flamma!" Willie jumped as a bush near him burst into flames.

"Whoa, Sara!" he exclaimed. "You're getting good at this magic stuff!"

"Why, thank you, Your Highness!"

Before we set off for the Emerald City, we parked our stuff in the castle. The guards believed Willie to be their prince, and me to be … his unwise but tolerable choice of partner. "Our prince loves you," one of them said to me. "So, we'll just go ahead and obey your every whim, Miss Thropp, just in case you're going to be our princess."

"Oookaaay," I said slowly. "I'm not sure I'm princess material, but sure, obey me if you feel like it." They had either not heard the news about me, or they simply did not care. Fine by me.

Flying high above Oz, it did not take us long to reach the Emerald City. I knew I had to be at least somewhat terrifying. I was the Wicked Witch of the West, after all. "Elika magnum vocem," I recited. "PEOPLE OF OZ, SHUT UP FOR A SEC! IF YOU DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP ME, NO HARM WILL COME TO YOU! THAT IS A PROMISE! HELP ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE, BUT I WILL NOT REST UNTIL THE WIZARD AND MORRIBLE ARE BOTH DEAD! SURRENDER, YOU FOOLS! ELIKA PARVUM VOCEM. Willie, let's do this!"

"You go, Sara!"

"Elika flamma! Elika flamma! Elika flamma!" Balls of fire flew toward the Wizard's palace. People were running about, panicked, because of me. For a girl who's been pitied all her life, being feared was the best feeling in the world.

We zoomed through a hole, and into the palace. I was on my way to the throne room, when I heard a voice. "Sara! Are you completely out of your mind?" I landed to see a very distressed Jean. "Yvonne's the governor of Munchkinland now. She's going all Stalin on the Munchkins. And now you're behaving positively … wicked! Why am I the only sane one around here?!"

"I guess the Crosstown Cripple can't afford to go insane, can she?"

"Would you stop calling me that?! Look, the Wizard and Madame Morrible are willing to forgive. Please, Sara! You're my best friend. Let's embrace this together!"

"They may be willing to forgive," I said, mounting my broom. "But I'm not. Let's go, Willie!" We flew forward, sending fireballs in our wake. The door to the throne room burnt down, revealing a very surprised Wizard and Clown Lady. The Wizard immediately took on a jovial tone.

"Ah, Miss Elphaba!" he exclaimed. "What a pleasant surprise! And Master Fiyero as well! What a treat!"

"Shut up, Animal Hitler!" I spat. "Elika flamma!" I aimed straight for the Wizard, but to my horror, Morrible ran into the line of fire, and deflected my fireball with a shield. It shot back towards me and Willie, barely missing us. Instead, it hit a cage, releasing about two dozen monkeys. That gave me an idea. "Elika fugio ex periculum!" Nothing happened; they just ran out of the throne room before anyone could do anything.

"You are talented, Miss Elphaba," she said with a smile. "But, dearie, you still have a lot to learn. Seize them." Guards I hadn't even realized were there now held me tight around the waist. Shit. But, believe me, I struggled. Yes, Sara Buchanan didn't go down without a fight.

Suddenly, I heard a gun go off. My heart flew up as I saw Willie pointing a rifle at Morrible's chest. "Let the green girl go," he said murderously. "Or your precious Madame Morrible will be in the ground." What a noble idiot!

"Let her go," the Wizard said quietly. Like with Dr. Dillamond's removal, it all happened so fast. I was released, Willie dropped his gun to the floor, and then it was Willie who was beyond hope of escape.

"Sara, go!" he hollered. "I can deal with this! Go!" I should not have gone, but there I was, flying high above the Emerald City, then into the Vinkus, through the highest window in my new castle. To my surprise, the monkeys were there, with wings! The spell had actually worked! But now I needed another spell, because Willie was probably getting tortured, and he was probably going to die, and it was definitely all my fault.

"Elika muta locum!" No, that caused a small earthquake. "Elika ex morte!" That simply revived a bunch of dead ants on the windowsill. I would try one more, and if that didn't work, I would curl up in a corner until they came to kill me. "ELIKA NAHMEN NAHMEN AH TUM AH TUM ELIKA NAHMEN! WILLIE!" That was it. Sara Buchanan was over. I was the Wicked Witch of the West.

**So that's that. Another cliffie, but I'm pretty sure you know what's happening to Willie. ;)**

**Cheers,**

**Elle Dottore**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello lovelies,**

**Broadway Girl 21 - same here. And you're right, of course.**

**Elphaba Lover 101 - Yeah, but we know he'll be fine.**

**Steph Wicked Girl - Yes, I LOVE Lindsey Mendez!**

**Wickedly Hope Pancake - I will!**

**By the way, what actors and actresses are you guys picturing when you read this fic? Just curious.**

**Story time!**

Chapter 8

Elphaba

The next day went by pretty fast. We spent all morning slaving away in arts and crafts, making our set for the talent show. Sara's instructions were easy to follow: a thermometer to show how much money was raised, a sign to hang over the stage, and so on. I fashioned an assembly line out of all of us, except Glinda, who claimed she couldn't control her hands enough to do anything useful.

"And I'm not sure a-bout this, El-phie," she said. "This skit could hurt the vis-it-ors' feel-ings."

"Great!" I exclaimed. "That's just what Sara wants, I think."

Presently, a boy in some kind of powered wheelchair came up me. "Excuse me. Are you Sara Buchanan?"

"Yes. Why?"

"I have a message from Willie. He says he's sorry he can't come see you, but his counselor is making him clean his part of the cabin. He wants me to sing a love song to you. Now, the song that immediately came to my mind is the song I'm going to sing for the talent show, but I won't spoil that. So, I figured since you missed most of the movie last night, I'd do something from that."

"Okay." I was apprehensive, but I decided to wait and see.

"I could while away the hours, conferring with the flowers, consulting with the rain. And my head I'd be scratchin' while my thoughts were busy hatchin' if I only had a brain."

Glinda and I exchanged a look; wasn't a brain the last thing Fiyero wanted?

"I would not be just a nothin', my head all full of stuffin', my heart all full of pain. Perhaps I'd deserve you, and be even worthy erv you if I only had a brain! So, Sara, did you like it?"'

"I-I don't know what to say!" I exclaimed. "You are a wonderful singer, first of all! Second, tell Fiy-, I mean, Willie, that he is too much, and I'm going to slap him for being such a sap. But tell him I adore him too, will you?"

"Of course, Sara."

As soon as the boy left, Glinda let out a wild shriek. "Oz, Glinda!" I exclaimed. "You're going to give me a heart attack! What was that for?"

"It's just so rom-an-tic!" she squealed. "E-ven though he can't be here, he sent you a l-l-love song! Eeee!"

"You got over him pretty fast."

"Be-cause he's with my best-est friend in whole en-tire uni-verse!"

"Right."

Following a lunch of chicken cooked in the worst way possible, it was rest hour. I could hardly believe that I was actually tired! But it's hard to secretly organize a reverse telethon, you know? So as soon as Carole covered me up, I was asleep. I dreamed that Fiyero and I were walking through the streets of the Emerald City, holding hands, looking into each other's eyes, moving closer together …

But then the dream changed. It was clearer now, almost as if it was real. I saw our history teacher, Dr. Dillamond, being shoved into a box with bars, a cage. I saw a green girl, whom I perceived to be Sara, flying on a broomstick with a boy holding onto her waist for dear life. Willie. I saw her trying to fight the Wizard and Morrible. At the same time, I saw Willie being tortured, and Sara doing a spell out of Morrible's book, the Grimmerie.

"Calm down, Sara!" Suddenly, Sue was at my side. "Are you alright?"

"N-no. W-what happened?"

"You were screaming in your sleep! Did you have a bad dream?"

"Uh-huh." That was the understatement of the year!

"Wanna talk about it?"

I shook my head.

"Wanna get in your chair? Rest time's almost over."

"Sure, thanks."

Once I was in Sara's chair (I refused to think of it as my chair), Glinda asked, "El-phie? What was your bad dream a-bout? You're as w-white as a ghost, and I ne-ver thought I'd say that a-bout you."

"I don't think … I don't think it was a dream."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Dreams … they're usually not so … real. It's hard to explain, but all I know is that Sara and Willie are in trouble, and … Morrible's evil."

"E-vil?"

"Evil. She and the Wizard … they're behind the Animal suppression. Glinda, in the movie last night, how did that farm girl return home?"

"El-phie, are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes! Tell me, for Oz's sake!"

"N-N-N-Nes-sa's shoes."

"Glinda, your mouth is extremely tight right now. I want to make sure I understood you exactly right. Did you say, 'Nessa's shoes'?"

"Yes, Nes-sa's shoes. That's what I said. El-phie-." A scream escaped my throat before I could stop it.

"Nessa … take me and Glinda to the lodge. And then … find Fiyero … pronto!"

"Why should I take orders from you?" Nessa asked impertinently.

"Because I'm older and wiser than you, and I'm your elder sister, so just do it!"

"You're going mad, Fabala. But fine!" Serve her right. I carted her everywhere when we were in Oz. Get a taste of her own medicine.

After Nessa left us at the lodge, we only had to wait a few clock ticks before Fiyero came running. I told him everything, practically breaking down into tears in the process. "And we're here, having fun, and doing a reverse telethon, while Willie and Sara are taking on the burden meant for us!" I concluded.

"Hey, we can find a way to get home, Fae! After all, you still have those wacky powers, don't you?" He put his twisted hand on my arm, which made me smile despite myself.

"But Sara has the Grimmerie. She's probably more powerful than I am at the moment."

Glinda spoke up. "El-phie, you made Nes-sa's chair move on its own on the first day of school. Be-li-eve me, you're pow-er-ful!" Our discussion ended there, as it was time for swimming.

I didn't swim. Apparently, Sara didn't like to swim either, because Sue said, "C'mon, Sara. You can't be afraid of the water!"

"I'm not," I said. "I just don't want to get used to the freedom, the weightlessness. I'm limited."

"Suit yourself. I'm gonna go in!" She happily jumped into the water. Meanwhile, I concentrated on Oz, on seeing Sara again. I prayed to nobody that this would work.

Suddenly, Sara appeared inside my mind, crouched on the floor of a castle. "Someone … do … reverse telethon. Elphaba. Lucky bitch. Yvonne … dead. Jean doesn't care. Jean's the Crosstown Cripple. Jean is Glinda the Good Witch of the North. Oh, Willie, Willie, Willie. See you soon. Ugliest guy in the two Carolinas, even the thirteen original states. So beautiful. Elphaba does the reverse telethon, I hope."

My real eyes opened again. Everyone was still in the pool. I now had a mission: to do that reverse telethon. It was the least I could do for Sara. And then, I would find a way to switch us back, even if it meant Nessa dying in the process. That's what really got to me. I had always looked after my sister, and now I had to kill her. I guess I really was a wicked witch after all.

After a dinner of awful Camp Courage stew (Fiyero had four bowls), it was time for the show. We suffered through many horrible acts where campers sang badly and forgot their lines, but then the good quad singer took the stage and blew everyone away. "People stop and stare. They don't bother me. For there's nowhere else I'd rather be …" Of course I hoped our reverse telethon would send a resonating message, but he better actually win the prize!

Finally, it was our turn. Sue and Carole put us in place, and then sat down. This was it. I cleared my throat. "Esteemed commandente, Philistines, counselors, comrades, it's the year 2030. Twenty years ago, we cripples took over the world in a violent revolution. In the first unstable days of our regime, our only thought was to punish those who had oppressed us for thousands of years. But now we have matured. We have compassion for those who are different. We raise money to help them. So, ladies and gentlemen, let me welcome you to the Third Annual Telethon to Stamp out Normalcy! Applause, please!" Confused, the visitors and benefactors clapped. They had no idea what was about to hit them!

I introduced those who could not walk as our donators, and those who could as the people whom we were trying to help. "One day, I'll have a wheelchair!" Nessa shouted triumphantly, causing much shock among the visitors.

"YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE!" we sang loudly at the end of telethon. What had been a metaphor was now the literal truth: you'll never walk alone.

In a flash, we were off the stage. "Sara, that is the last straw!" Sue shrieked. "Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in? Sara! Are you listening to me?!" I didn't care how much trouble I was in; Sara was in worse trouble. I closed my eyes and scrunched up my nose, harnessing whatever power I had …

And suddenly I was standing in the castle where Sara was. _Alright, Elphaba, time to make things right. _

**Long chapter, but a LOT happened. That's why it took so long. Sorry.**

**Cheers,**

**Elle Dottore**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey y'all!**

**Second to last chappie!**

**Elphaba Lover 101 - You bet she did!**

**Congrats to I Mourn the Wicked for being my 25TH REVIEWER! YAY!**

**To sate Wickedly Hope Pancake's curiosity as well as everyone else's, here is my cast list:**

**Elphaba - Idina Menzel **

**G(a)linda - Kristen Chenoweth **

**Fiyero - Sebastian Arcelus **

**Sara - Shoshauna Bean **

**Jean - Megan Hilty **

**Willie - Aaron Tveit**

**Just so you know.**

**Story time!**

Chapter 9

Sara

When would Dorothy come? I had heard of her arrival and of Yvonne's subsequent death, but I had no idea where she was. But soon, she would reach the Wizard, who would ask her to kill me. She'd better get here quickly; I wanted to be with Willie. As far as the shoes were concerned, I would try to get them, for Elphaba. It was a role I had to fill, and if Elphaba ever came back to Oz, she could easily find her sister's shoes.

Suddenly, I heard a voice. "Excuse me? Are you Sara?" I looked up to see a tall girl with long, flowing black hair and green skin. The next thing I noticed about her was that she was wearing my favorite hippie dress.

"Elphaba?"

"Yes. Oz, I wonder what your first clue was! What a stumper! Now, stand up, Sara. You're going home."

"But you …"

"This was meant to be my life. Of course I'll miss Nessa and … Yero, but you don't deserve this."

"Neither do you! Elphaba, they give you a whole lotta shit here."

"Yes. Shit that is meant for me. I'm meant to have all Oz after me. While you, Sara, you're just meant to get chided by Mr. Bob."

"You don't think I can handle this?! Do you realize what I tried to do? I tried to kill the Wizard, because I knew that you would do the same thing in my place! And it cost me my Valentine."

"Your … Valentine?"

"Yes! My Valentine! My boyfriend! The love of my life! But you don't know what that's like, do you?"

"Sara, I don't believe you fully understand me. I know damn well what that's like! Fiyero is the universe to me, and I'm willing to sacrifice him for you! Your Valentine, as you call him, will be just fine soon enough, my pretty."

"You know, I always wondered where you picked up that pet name."

"You're changing the subject, and I'm about to have a vision, so be quiet." Suddenly, Elphaba stumbled backward, as if knocked by some unknown force. I stood up to help her, but one of the monkeys had already flown over to catch her. It was a bit like a seizure, but without the constant flailing. In minutes it was over.

"Thank you, my friend!" Elphaba exclaimed, beaming at the monkey. "My name is Elphaba. Do you have a name? No? Alright then, I will name you Chistery. How does that sound?" To my utter shock, the monkey nodded and helped her stand up.

"When you're quite finished flirting with a winged monkey," I started, "why don't you tell me what your vision was about?"

"Oh, Sara, Willie is alive!"

"Alive? Is he well?"

"Well, sort of. Sara, did you try to save him by magic?"

"Yeah, I used a spell from the Grimmerie. Why?"

Elphaba burst out laughing. "He'll be back to normal when I get you all home! Oz, Yero will have some adjusting to do! Good job on the spell, by the way."

"What? What did I turn him into?"

"Ah, I'll let him tell you himself." She sobered. "But regardless, you saved not only his life, but Yero's life as well. Thank you."

"And thank you for doing the reverse telethon. I trust the visitors went ape?"

"Ape?"

"Crazy, I mean. Were they shocked?"

"Oz, yes. Bob was furious!"

"Perfect. You know, for someone who's called the Wicked Witch of the West, you're really kind of … neat!"

Elphaba grinned. "Well, that's a nice thing to say. Now, I should get you home. Elika …"

"Wait! This Dorothy chick … she'll kill you … she'll melt you!"

"Yes, I imagine she will. I've never melted before; it should be fun."

"Golly, you're almost as cool with death as I am!"

She smirked. "Who says I'm talking about death? Elika refurbere. Elika refurbere. Elika refurbere. Elika refurbere." The castle flew out of sight as I cavorted through time and space. _There's no place like Camp Courage, _I thought.

Suddenly, dear Sue was glaring at me. "Mr. Bob will talk to you in the morning," she said, pure anger in her voice.

"Fine, fine! I'll look forward to it!"

As we rolled (yay, rolled!) back to the cabin, I looked over at Jean. I knew she was conflicted. She was no longer living Glinda's life, but she was back where she belonged. Jean could adapt to any situation, no matter what. I admired that. And I had to tell her that before camp ended.

**Thanks for reading!**

**Cheers,**

**Elle Dottore**


	10. Epilogue

**Hey peoples!**

**Last chapter. :( **

**Elphaba Lover 101 - Ya, all's right with the world(s).**

**Broadway Girl 21 - Alas, all good things must come to an end.**

**Enjoy!**

Epilogue

Jean

June 6, 2008

It was pouring rain, but the South Carolina State Mobility Bus was as noisy as ever. The MRs that were riding with me were going to the aquarium. And where was I going? I was going to my best friend's funeral. But no one acknowledged that. No one saw my black dress and shining eyes and comprehended that I was going through a loss. I was still just a lady in a wheelchair.

I was at the mayor's office two days earlier when I got the email from Willie. It wasn't a long email, just telling of Sara's passing that day and when the funeral would be. I started crying in front of my employees, whose respect I had worked so hard to get. But it just seemed so … illogical. Death couldn't win over Sara Buchanan, Attorney at Law and Disability Rights Activist Extraordinaire. That just wasn't possible.

"Saint Philip's Church!" the driver called out.

"That's me," I answered.

As the wheelchair lift slowly lowered to the ground, the driver finally comprehended my reason for travel. "Sorry for your loss."

"Thank you." I rushed past him, a tiny bit glad that I had taught him something about disabled people, or Crips, as Sara liked to call them. Us.

"Jean! I'm so glad you could make it!" After thirty eight years, Willie's ugliness was once again a profound shock. But I knew he didn't want talk about that on Sara's funeral day, so I recovered quickly.

"I would-n't miss this," I said.

"Sara would be thrilled to know that you had come. You haven't changed a bit! Well, actually, you have age lines, and your golden hair is now looking kind of gray, but I have that's what you're supposed to say to old friends, so you haven't changed a bit!"

I smiled despite myself. "You have-n't changed a bit, ei-ther, Wil-lie."

"Gee. Thanks. Hey, Sara wanted me to give this to you. I think there's a note inside." He pulled out a witch's hat. My hand grappled around inside it for a while until I pulled out a piece of computer paper. It read:

_Dear Jean,_

_Don't worry, this isn't Elphaba's actual hat. I gave that back to her. I bought this at a costume shop soon after I got back from camp. I wanted to remember our surreal field trip. Did you see the musical that hit Broadway five years ago? It was something else! It's basically what we did in Oz. But you know me, I thought about leaving the theater when the younger sister (I think her name is Nessarose) got cured. Even a tolerant show like _Wicked _still portrays disability as a tragic thing. I also remember thinking that Idina Menzel has no idea what Elphaba went through. But she could sure belt her face … _

_I hope you're doing alright, Jean. I keep thinking that you're trapped in some institution or group home, waiting to be delivered. But then I remember that you have the spunk to be someone, something I didn't have until I met you. I hope you didn't listen to me (you tended not to) and I hope you went to Chapel Hill and became a programmer, just like you wanted. But, if you didn't, I hope you're at least content. _

_Me? I'm dying, but I've been waiting to die for fifty three years, so it's about time! Like I told you at camp, life's a terminal illness, with onset at birth. We're all terminally ill. So don't you dare feel sorry for me, Miss Jean! Keep being calm and cool like you always are, and if the afterlife is actually real, I'll watch over you. Meanwhile, put the hat somewhere in your house, or group home, or room, and think of me when you don't hear Jerry Lewis on TV._

_Your friend, _

_Sara _

I crinkled up the note and put it in my bra. "I didn't know women actually did that," Willie commented.

"How's your life?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Good. As you know, Sara broke up with me after we got back from Oz. She said it was because she loved me, and she wanted me to have a full life. But she saved my life."

"She did. She ne-ver told me how, though."

"Oh, um, she cast some sort of spell. Turned me into a scarecrow. Yeah, I actually met Dorothy. What a ditz!" That made me giggle a little.

"I had no i-dea!"

"But she broke up with me, because she wanted me to have a full life. Selfless witch. I married a pretty schoolteacher. She's a great companion, but Sara was always this light just out of my reach, the one thing I wanted, but couldn't have. But enough about me. Let's go inside before your chair dies."

When Willie and I got past all the clients and colleagues of Sara's, the viewing was almost over. But there she was, clad in a business suit, hair fixed tightly in a long, gray braid. The Sara I knew would have wanted to be in one of her hippie dresses, with her hair flying free. Had she really changed that much? She still had that rebel spirit that I had always hoped I would harness. I was trying. Even at fifty three, I was trying.

Normally, I didn't like to sing in public, in front of Norms. I couldn't carry a tune, or pronounce the words correctly, or get them out on the beat. But Sara wouldn't have minded. So, with tears in my eyes, I opened my mouth, and sang the only _Wicked _lyric I knew. "Who can say if I've been changed for the bet-ter? But, be-cause I knew you, I have been changed for good."

**The end!**

**Thank you so so so much for reading! I've been reading fan fiction for months, and now I'm finally trying it out! Hope the ending wasn't too sad for you.**

**Cheers,**

**Elle Dottore**


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